8 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter book going dutch dating advice
Bruce Cameron returns with an even more hilarious look at fatherhood, capturing the predicament of the forgotten man in the tux at his little girl's wedding.As Cameron explains, modern weddings are much like royal coronations, only more expensive.My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.
Here are 8 Simple facts that you might not have known about.1: Use your hands on my daughter and you'll lose them after. 7: If your pants hang off your hips, I'll gladly secure them with my staple gun. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will object.However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.