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One day, however — trust me on this — the will to live fully again, and even experience companionship, will arise. It’s hard to throw yourself back in the dating game after 30, 40 years or more. I tell those I counsel to look at it this way: Cherish your old relationship, but don’t let it sabotage your prospects of forging a new one. More than merely a widow or widower, you are a person with opinions, hobbies, preferences, accomplishments, social values, political views and a unique way of looking at the world.But the pointers I offer below can help ease your pre-game jitters. And if your feelings of guilt persist, see a counselor; you’ll want to resolve these thoughts before attempting to date again. As you think about how to present your authentic self, be selective about which of those attributes you share right away and which are best kept private until you get to know a new person better. Take some time to think about the type of new bond you’d like to establish.Whether the stars are aligned for these couples, or luck plays a big role in their meeting; seniors have to be a bit more extroverted and aggressive to meet in these settings.
For those wary of the World Wide Web and those too shy to meet people in social settings — dating coaches, services and matchmakers are the way to go!
In particular, avoid over-reminiscing about your old life; it may make your new acquaintance feel excluded. You may long to clone your lost love, but it’s unlikely you’ll ever meet an exact replica of the one you were with. After all, the person you met at age 25 changed over a lifetime, and so did you.
Now you’re in a different stage, with a redrawn horizon.
For those who are truly ‘old school’, neighborhood grocery stores, libraries and venues for hobbies are excellent places to meet not only potential partners, but also friends.
While it can be more challenging to meet a possible mate on a chance outing to the store, it makes for a romantic story for those who do meet on these happenstances!