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She used to get drunk and try to kiss me whenever my girlfriend ran to the bathroom. Well, there is a little brown canal nearby, so I guess that’s something.

I stepped around some rain puddles on the asphalt as I walked past the same gray blocks of condominiums I do every day, and thought, There must be a thousand units, and someone living in each one.

For a woman, it means a life of indentured servitude. The reality is: people don’t have a lot of contact with each other.

A lot of people are apparently “just saying no” to the whole thing. For Japanese folks, it’s insanely difficult to establish friendships and connections, which is no doubt why so many Host and Hostess Bars exist, so people can at least to talk to them.

Anyone who’s been in Japan for even a short while has seen the rows of shops offering all the usual services. I’ve lived in my current apartment building for, let’s see, about a year and a half now. Anyway, in that time the number of neighbors I’ve met is . Okay, so here’s a little quiz for you, to see how well you know Japanese culture: I figured I’d break the ice with a non-threatening situational observation, so I said in Japanese: “Yeah, another busy morning, huh? But for two Japanese people to strike up a conversation while in line at the grocery store? It’s a tad dingy and run-down, but the food’s solid.

(As an aside, I’ll add that “foreigners” aren’t allowed in. Every week, people pay me to sit in Starbucks and simply talk with them. Well, it’s hypothetically possible, I suppose, like Dark Matter or something. That means that if everyone else is having an awesome, sexy time, you’re more likely to as well. When it’s a sunny day, everybody’s happy, and when it rains, everybody’s glum. So I was talking this over with my colleague Fujimoto-sensei last week, and he said, “Ah, Ken, you should have seen it in the 90’s. Everybody was making money, people were positive, it was more fun. Then, “You know I used to have a wife and a girlfriend in those days. I think of it like an extra living room, which helps since my apartment’s so darn small.

“Every day at 4 a.m.,” she said, “they’d turn off the lights and we’d sleep at our desks for four hours. I am, however, a big fan of marshmallow Peeps, so maybe it’s not as infrequent as you think.

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People in Japan, and Tokyo in particular, work a ridiculous amount, in a way that’s hard to comprehend if you live in, say, sunny California. Japanese places are a lot worse.” “Do you ever see your wife? That way, the man goes off to work, and when he comes home after midnight, his dinner is sitting on the table covered in Saran Wrap, and there’s hot water in the tub. Shopping, ironing, cleaning, paying the bills, everything’s taken care of for him. The woman gets to do all the fun, fulfilling things like taking care of baby, grocery shopping, cleaning, and cooking meals.Marriage isn’t a great choice; it’s just the second-worst option.For a man, it means he’s working to pay for his wife. If you chose “Absolutely freaking nothing,” then congratulations, you’re about halfway to earning a Bachelor’s in East Asian Studies.Again, this is a hard thing to reconcile if you don’t live in Japan, but being in a relationship and having sex have precious little to do with one another. The fact is, you don’t challenge what you’re told, you don’t offer up original ideas, and you don’t initiate conversation with strangers. I actually rode the elevator down with a guy yesterday. Japanese people excel at social interactions when there are clearly defined roles: Boss and Worker, Clerk and Customer, Drunk Salaryman and Gaijin.For a Japanese male, it’s possible to get sex almost anywhere, at any time, for little more than the price of a decent lunch. [*Note to self: insert more nuanced term before posting this.] The society functions with robot-like efficiency because your boss tells you what do—or your parents, or your teacher—and you do it. If you work in a ramen shop, you don’t say, “Hey boss, how about if, instead of two pieces of pork in the noodles, we tried ? Which presents a koan-like riddle: If you don’t talk to people you don’t know, how do you get to know people? He was about my age and was tying his tie while I was still fumbling into my shoes. “Oh jeez, I can’t believe my alarm didn’t go off.” C. There are clear rules and precedents for those situations. “I think we’re in a recession.” So then after work, I went to my usual , which is basically like a cheap restaurant.Eventually I got to my own dark building and rode the elevator up. As someone that’s lived through this scenario, I’ll start out by saying that you’re missing the point. Perhaps your girlfriend suddenly added a password to her phone.Maybe you’ve even gone as far as following her to work and spying on her. But more importantly, you don’t trust You must be able to trust your partner, and you must be able to trust yourself.So for all of you considering checking your partner’s phone that haven’t yet pulled the trigger: Don’t do it.Ah, sex in Japan, always a hot topic in online forums.If you’re a man, and you post: I’m having lots of sex in Japan!

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